The Unspeakable
by Kiana Maria
Summary: Sawyer comes across Sun's secret stash of lies. What he discovers...is bad.


The morning cacophony of tropical birds sounded in the air as light rose from the east. Sawyer sat in front of his tent, wearing nothing but a pair of wet jeans. In the dim light, Sun made her way across the sand.

"Sawyer?"

"Yeah, what is it, Sunshine?"

"I heard that you are hoarding books."

He laughed. "You want somethin' to read?"

"I'm missing something," she said. "A Korean-English dictionary. Have you seen it?"

"Nope," he said.

Her face fell in disappointment. "If you see it, will you give it to me?"

"Sure thing."

"It has a black and red cover."

"Black and red. Got it."

She bowed slightly and walked back across the sand.

When she was out of sight, he dug under a pile of clothes and magazines and pulled out a large book with a black and red cover. "How do you say, 'Nice ass'?" he wondered to himself. He flipped open the dictionary and a slip of paper fell into his lap. He laid down the dictionary and unfolded the paper.

Flowery handwriting covered the page:_** January 22, 2003** \- I lied to Jin. _

"This should be good."

* * *

_**January 22, 2003 - **I lied to Jin._

_I told him I didn't date in college - at all. I told him that I usually stayed home and watched TV with my girlfriends (who I implied were as virginal as me). I don't really know why I lied - but I guess it was to protect Jin. I didn't want him to know that I've only known wealthy - very wealthy - men._

Sawyer tossed the slip of paper aside and rippled through the dictionary. Another small slip of paper was stuck somewhere between _car_ and _cat._ He slid it out.

_**February 1, 2003 - **I lied to Mother._

_I told her I'm not dating anyone - that I just need time to be on my own right now. Sometimes I wish I could just blurt it out to both of them - that I'm dating a fisherman's son who has now ascended to the high rank of hotel doorman - just to see their reactions._

Sawyer flipped the dictionary upside down and shook it with both hands. Several little slips of paper fell out and coasted into his lap. He laid down the dictionary.

_**March 13, 2003 - **I lied to Choon-Hee._

_I told her that Jin applied for a job at my father's company behind his back - that he even used a fake name. I wanted her to think that he got the job on his own merits - which he did, anyway. Somehow telling my parents that he's a fisherman's son wasn't as hard as I thought - my friends are being much more judgmental._

**_May 1, 2003 - _**_I lied to Jin._

_I told him my dress cost much less than it actually did - and so did the flowers, the cake, the venue... I wanted the wedding of my dreams, but I don't have to make my husband feel bad about how much my father is spending, do I?_

**_May 5, 2003 -_**_ I kept the truth from my father. _

_I went to the park. An old woman sat down beside me. She knew who I was. She told me that Jin's mother was a prostitute. If I don't pay her $100,000 she will tell the world._

_I got the money from my father. I refused to tell him what it was for. _

**_May 6, 2003 -_**_ I lied to Jin. _

_Jin found the $100,000 in my purse. I told him my father gave it to us to buy furniture. He insisted that I take it back. I told him I would. _

**_May 7, 2003 -_**_Jin lied to me. _

_His father is alive. The old woman in the park was his mother. Yes, she's a prostitute. Mr. Kwon isn't even sure he's his real father - it could be anyone. _

**_May 8, 2003 - _**_I lied to Jin. _

_I went back to the park. I met the old woman. I gave her the money. I told her that if I ever hear from her again - she will die._

**_October 4, 2003 - _**_Jin has been lying to me. _

_I don't know what he does for my father - but he came home covered in blood._

**_January 12, 2004_** \- _I lied to Jae-Lee. _

_I told him I spoke no English at all. He is enjoying teaching me - playing an older role. _

**_February__ 28, 2004 -_**_ I lied to Jin. _

_I told him I was going to the doctor for a checkup - to see why we're not conceiving. I didn't tell him about the IUD. _

**_March 1, 2004 - _**_I asked the doctor to lie to Jin. _

_He told Jin that we are infertile - and the problem lies with me. The truth is too terrible - what to do about it?_

"Wait a minute," Sawyer muttered to himself. "I missed one..." He scrambled around for each slip of paper, and sorted them by date. "Which one did I..."

_**December 30, 2003 -** Mother has told me the truth. _

_Throughout their marriage, Father has been unfaithful. He has even frequented "houses." One particular woman at one particular house was his favorite - Mother described her in detail, and I knew who she was talking about. At one point, the woman presented him with a baby boy. Father refused to acknowledge him as his son. The woman said that the only other possible father was a fisherman. Father said, "Then take him to the fisherman." He never saw the woman again. _

_Mother should have told me before we got married. _

_I must never tell Jin. _

_I must never get pregnant. _

* * *

Sawyer looked up from the slips of paper. Conversations were beginning and breakfasts were being cooked as the island awoke. Sun stood on the beach, just at the edge of the water. Jin walked to her from behind, and wrapped one arm around her waist. He tried to kiss her, and Sun pulled away.

Sawyer watched them. "Oh, my God."


End file.
